For All The Guys I Loved Before—Loved Enough to Follow
It is overcast here in my part of Georgia today. The gray winter really gets to me, and if I am not working with my granddaughter on her homeschooling I have to find ways to occupy my time. Today, and all week for that matter, it has been a frenetic expending of energy on annual de-cluttering, reading several books at once, the usual routine items like washing, mopping, whatever . . . and of course watching movies. You must always realize that everything I do is punctuated by watching great movies—and even some awful ones here and there.
Today as I was scrolling through the offerings, I found a favorite—The Enemy Below, starring Robert Mitchum. He portrays a WWII captain of a ship chasing a German submarine. What an on-screen persona, what a guy, what a man’s man. Did he have some bumps in life here and there? Sure, but maybe that’s where he got that air of authority—that “been there, done that” air that seems to say: “In an emergency, follow me, because I know what I’m doing!” Have you ever thought about that? Just who would you follow in an emergency, a war, a cataclysm? Sounds strange, but these are the questions that plague me when my mind wanders on a gray day.
Well, I know exactly who I would follow, or their prototype, for the men I will mention are not alive, but they have left their legacy—an air of authority.
Of course, you will know that one of the guys I would follow to the gates of Hades would be my father. He was tall, handsome, bright—a man I always saw as a mixture of Clark Gable, George Patton, John Wayne and George Washington with a tad of Eagle Scout thrown in. I know, he sounds too good to be true, but there he was, looming large in my life. I think I once confided on this blog that he was the ONLY man who never broke my heart or lied to me. So of course he would be a guy I would follow. He had been to war (the European theater), had the medals to prove his bravery, but he had something else. He had that inner confidence and courage that seemed to yell out “follow me” if you’re scared or confused. It might be pheromones, some actual physical phenomenon that impacts behavior. But whatever it was, I would have followed him.
There are others, one of them being the father of a great friend of mine—let’s call him Mr. J. He had been to war too, and I have no doubt he was brave in his duty. He was a Seabee, you know, the guys in WWII who had to build things and defend themselves and maybe a piece of real estate at the same time. He served in the Pacific, a hellish place in the War if ever there was one. Mr. J. had a quiet and calm manner that exuded authority and intelligence. He was one of the most Christian men I ever knew. I would have most certainly followed him anywhere because of that manner of his-- and because if we were hit by a fatal explosion, I would want to be close to him in the hope that when we awoke it would be in heaven, for me simply because I was standing next to him and got there on the group plan. A great man.
There was Mr. G.-- another quiet guy, very easy-going, but he served in a capacity that entailed overseeing and transporting criminals in our county. He, like my Dad, seemed to always be armed. (This, by the way, is not something that ever scared me—as the daughter of a police officer I was used to armed men around me.) He was the father of another great friend, and whenever we went somewhere he transported us. I always felt safe, guarded by the quiet man who would fight a tiger to defend us.
And now to brag a bit on my spouses: I married two men and I know I would have followed either of them. My first husband was smart, and had the air of a soldier. That’s where he was headed when an injury derailed his chance. But he would have been smart in any situation, known the challenges inside out and had several plans to extricate us from harm.
My second husband was just as smart, had the mind of a mechanical wizard and could FIX ANYTHING. He worked on jet planes in one job, and on steam locomotives in another. If we had reached an impasse in any situation he would have had a plan, and if plans A & B failed, he would have built or rigged something to carry us out of harm’s way!
So, I know I sound like the lyrics of a Willie Nelson song, but these are the “men I’ve loved before” because they made me feel safe. Because they were fathers of my older friends they are gone now, and both my husbands have passed away. I surely do miss these men. They would have been my “go to” guys if I were in trouble. Now I am left to my own devices – a fact that I don’t mind telling you scares me just a little. I am getting older and miss my protectors. I am Dorothy travelling down the Yellow Brick Road pretty much solo.
But I do hold out hope. My hope is that when I get to heaven there will be my guys, an honor guard, so to speak, to lead me on my way. And I know they will all have stars on their shoulders, just a tad different from the earthly ones they earned.