Buy the Coat . . . Light the Candles
I know these two categories don’t have anything in common . . . but, ah, they do.
What I am speaking of is a habit many of us (especially women) have of “saving” things for a future need, an emergency that may arise, a “what if” scenario. I have done it and I know just where I developed this habit. It was learned from my parents and grandparents – from people who actually lived through the Great Depression.
My mother-in-law was a quiet, smart, independent woman, and she always kept a ball of string she had saved from packages. I asked her if I could get her a nice, new ball of string, but she would have no part of it. She pointed out that she had developed this habit during the Depression. She was born in 1916, so she was 13 when everything crashed and took what little bit they had. None of my forebears had much, unless we go way back to South Carolina and a gggg-grandfather who grew rice. But mostly, we went downhill from there. So my folks paid attention when the world stopped and items were scarce. And what else reinforced that for them?—World War II. Live through a depression AND a world war and its rationing and I can see where the hoarder in me came from.
I am not truly a hoarder, just a cautious saver. I thought I was pretty much alone in this behavior until I read something long ago about a woman who needed a coat, but kept putting off the purchase. If I could remember where I read this I would certainly share it. Somehow someone impressed upon this woman to “seize the day” or “buy the coat.” A coat is not a frivolous thing to buy, not when it was needed as she needed it. She (and many of us now) wanted to be frugal. But paradoxically we also want to buy things and have them in reserve for that critical need that will arise, that catastrophe, so we can perhaps be the heroine and save the day.
I have always had clothes in my closet with the tags still on them—saving them for that special occasion, that emergency when something new and fresh was needed. But some of those items hung around for a while as no such fashion emergency arose. One or two even went out of style while I waited.
This was all driven home to me last night when we celebrated my granddaughter’s birthday. All the family had dinner out and then came to my house for dessert. We had covered everything . . . except candles. But here it was, my someday had come, I had candles tucked away in a kitchen drawer. Not a huge selection mind you as I found sometimes they melted, but always I bought more for that faraway “what if” day. And my day was here and I even had two types of candles - - just the plain ones and a cute package of 6 candles shaped like balloons in bright, cheery colors even. When I pulled those out, my daughter said “Oh, no – you might want to save those.” My grandparent brain thought “For what?” What could be more important than my granddaughter’s birthday and celebrating with friends?!! So, I "carpe-d the diem," and we lit the candles. It was a great feeling, I had just what was needed at just the propitious moment. BUT it was a little offset by the fact that I realized I had raised another “saver,” another woman who would always be thinking of a “someday” that might appear and find her unprepared.
Ladies (and gentlemen, if this particular shoe fits) we must stop this. We must be wise in our investments, take care of our families and loved ones, save for the future and generally just be responsible people. But I can tell you with great assurance that the world will not shake because you buy the coat or light up the saved candles. Life is tricky, so live every day of it as if it might be your last. Enjoy yourselves—light the candles.