Bromance on the High Seas and Elsewhere
According to Wikiipedia a “ bromance” is defined this way: “A bromance is a close but non-sexual relationship between two or more men. It is an exceptionally tight, affectional, homosocial male bonding relationship exceeding that of usual friendship . . .”
Lately I have thought a great deal about bromances because I have watched one in a movie I re-discovered—Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. The two main characters are portrayed by Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany, captain of a ship and the surgeon, respectively. I saw this movie when it came out but it had slipped my mind. I told you I love movies so I am unashamed to tell you that since it is being shown more recently I have watched it at least 10 times. Excessive? I know, but I’m kinda’ a gal of excess on occasion—just come to Thanksgiving dinner at my house if you want to see that side of me.
At any rate, Jack Aubrey (Russell) rules his ship with an iron hand, but still manages to be best buddy to his pal Stephen Maturin (Paul), the very learned ship’s surgeon. They both are brave in battle, but have a more subdued side when they play their instruments or discuss science. (Trivia note here: Both Crowe and Bettany [I read somewhere] learned to play their instruments for the making of the movie--the violin for Crowe and cello for Bettany. Boy, was I impressed!)
At any rate, I continue to be amazed by how close these men were though simultaneously manly men on the high seas. And then it struck me, I had seen or heard of “bromances” for years.
One can even find a “bromance” in the Bible, for it is written “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (That was from 1 Samuel 18.) David mourned when Jonathan was slain in battle. These were godly men who loved their “brother.”
But I have seen such brotherly love between and among men even closer to home than that. My husband was a quiet man most of the time. When he was with his buddies he was more boisterous. But I never doubted from the first moment I started to meet his friends that he loved every one of them with his heart.
I knew him as a man who could tear apart a car or a real live steam engine and put it back together; he could fix the plumbing, anything electrical, and patch the roof. He could nail, chisel, paint, rev, build and restore. He was the man’s man—if I found a spot on his shirt sleeve, I just figured it was testosterone leaking out here and there. But he never wavered in truly loving his friends.
I looked for “historical and literary bromances” and found a few: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, Franklin Roosevelt and Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln and William Seward, Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, and a more infamous duo, Robert Leroy Parker (Butch Cassidy) and Harry Longabaugh (Sundance.)
I am glad there is such a thing as great guy friends. Think about it, ladies . . . who do you run to with your problems, your secret wishes for life, things you would share with no one else? Your girlfriend, of course. Well, guys need the same avenue to vent, confide, complain, razz and discuss.
It is a great thing to witness. Check out who your good guy husband has chosen for friend and confidante. I’ll bet you like them as well. I loved my husband’s friends so much that I adopted them. They were some of the first to comfort me upon his death. Maybe they didn’t bargain for me, but they are stuck with me for life.