Baubles For Sale
Did you ever buy something for yourself, something essentially useless, and then feel bad that you had squandered a few dollars? That happened to me recently. I was at a Staples store and my granddaughter pointed out an array of key chains. When I turned and looked, the first thing that caught my eye was a really bright and sparkly red heart. Now, if I have not mentioned it yet, I have adopted the heart as my personal totem.
When I see a heart I just feel good, I’m happy. Perhaps I am transported to a Valentine’s Day of long ago when we used to make a mailbox from a shoe box to decorate for receipt of our many cards for that holiday. Everyone brought those cute and cheesy little valentines. I swear if I could get those through the US Mail, they would still get my vote for a Valentine’s greeting. Somehow you just felt great when you went home and read all those, and inevitably there would be one or two signed with a question mark and you wondered just who that might be. Also, all our mothers must have connived to make us take enough cards for everyone, so there were no broken hearts on the day of hearts.
So, to get back to the heart - - I bought it. I could not resist the pull of this trinket, and every day since I have mentally chastised myself for spending money on something so insignificant. I called myself selfish for being a spendthrift. I felt bad, as only children are habitually pigeon-holed as self-centered. I had worked all my life to dispel that notion, and yet here I had proven it true with a mere four dollars.
Until today that is. Today I was not feeling so hot. I woke with a headache (no, I don’t drink enough or often enough to ever have a headache.) I was probably haunted by the fact that I had to go pay my property taxes--another necessary expenditure, but a tidy sum. However, I had saved for it.
So I set out on my mission and a round of errands. It proved to be easy to pay, there were no lines at the tax office. I went to the drug store, and then to the post office. After mailing my items I came out into the bright summer sun, and suddenly as I reached for my heart key ring it seemed to take on a magical quality. Its beads shone so in the hot August sun that they were like small rubies melting into one big red, glorious glowing heart.
I thought of one of my favorite movies, The Wizard of Oz, and suddenly life had magic and sparkle, and something like a wave of life memories washed over me – me watching that movie, other heart items I owned, Valentine’s and love and family, and friends. And my real heart beat with a mantra—“There’s no place like home.” And I got all that for four dollars!
The guilt threatened to come back, but I pulled myself together. I pay my taxes (the previous comment as a testament), I give to my church, I help collect clothes for the homeless, I give to charities, I maintain a budget so I can help care for my family. Now none of this makes me Mother Teresa, but I figure that it allows me to once in a while spend a paltry sum on something that just makes me happy.
So, I drove home with my heart on a chain glittering in the sun and a tune went through my aching head . . .
"You gotta have heart
Miles and mile and miles of heart"*
And my head cleared and the birds sang and life was good. So don't be too hard on yourselves out there. Take time to add some glitter to your lives.
*Lyrics by Richard Adler and Jerry Ross - The Pajama Game