"The soul would have no rainbow Had the eyes no tears."
John Vance Cheney
Ain’t These Tears in My Eyes Telling You?*
Well, it’s confession time at the ol’ blog here and I’ll go first. This morning I scared my cat because I am a crier. I come from a long line of criers . . . as a matter of fact, if I needed extra money I could probably become a professional mourner/crier. I have had this curse as far back as I can remember and I can’t tell you how many times I ruined my mascara, used up all the available tissues and just generally embarrassed myself.
I knew the gene had been passed on to me when I would go to see Lassie movies at age four or five. My dad, the lawman, the GI, the holder of the Purple Heart and Bronze Star, would sniffle or clear his throat in the saddest part of the movie. Simultaneously my little heart was pounding and being assaulted by waves of pity and my eyes began to moisten. Yep, I had the gene all right.
A constant question I am asked by my friends is "Are you okay? They are asking that because I am crying and they worry about me. But they should not, it will pass and then just another one of my episodes will be over. People, it is a heavy load to bear, to unburden oneself of all those tears, to let it all hang out and not hide it, to become the unwanted center of attention.
What sparked my jag this morning? . . . a Hallmark movie. It is entitled Hachi: A Dog’s Tale. It’s a sweet and sad little story about a loyal dog that finds its life master. “The movie was based on the real Japanese Akita dog Hachiko, who was born in Odate, Japan, in 1923. After the death of his owner, . . . Hachiko returned to the Shibuya train station the next day and every day after that for the next nine years until he died in March 1935. A bronze statue of Hachiko is in front of the Shibuya train station in his honor. Hachikō is known in Japanese as chūken Hachikō (忠犬ハチ公) "faithful dog Hachikō", hachi meaning "eight" and kō meaning "affection."**
I had sworn not to watch it this morning, without even a trace of coffee to brace me for what was coming . . . yes, I had seen it before. But at the end, there came the tears, cascading down, and the tissues and the crying out loud. That was when the cat left, looking a little scared but mostly confused.
The worst case of the the “boo-hoos” I ever had was at the end of the movie Armageddon with Bruce Willis. I cried so long and so hard, that my husband threatened to take me to the ER as he feared I would never stop. But it was the story line that got me - - one man, one little ordinary guy, is left to save Earth as an asteroid hurtles toward it. And of course my love, Bruce, steps up to take one for the team. And that’s where it started - - - the uncontrollable sobbing. It’s always one little guy that has to jump into the fray, ‘take the bullet” and save the day. It’s never the rich guy, or the head politician, or the gold medal winner - - no, it’s just an ordinary guy whose bravery transforms him into the extraordinary one willing to give all for his fellow man. And that makes me cry even harder.
I have often been in the “one guy scenario” in my life, but in much smaller ways, infinitesimally smaller. For instance, at our family reunions there is always a cadre of the Southern women in my family who just head to the kitchen for clean-up detail, and they do this loyally at every gathering - - me among them. There was work where somebody has to stay late or pull extra duty for a work event - - me. If times were tight and the food budget slim, somebody had to take the smaller portion - - me. But these are things that any woman I know would do for her loved ones or to get the job done. Not even a blip on the radar.
What preys on my mind is one question . . . could I be that one guy that literally gives all for the world, another person, a loved one? Would I be brave like my forebears? Would I have the quick mind and strength to foil the biggest cataclysm? I don’t know, I really don’t know what I would do. I like to think I would conquer all my fear and leap, save the day, etc. But “would I?” The question rattles around in my brain and worries me. And folks, that very uncertainty makes me wanna” cry!
"Am I Blue?" is a song copyrighted by Harry Akst and Grant Clarke in 1929 (from Wikipedia)
**Story of Hachi here at Wikipedia: